July 25, 2009

Perspective and a Preview

I did my first-ever newborn photo session this morning and gained a little perspective on the way.

When my sweet friend agreed for me to come photograph her beautiful baby girl, I was overjoyed.

Then the doubts and questions started trickling in.

Will the photos turn out? Am I good enough to do this? Am I crazy for thinking I can really do this? Will my backdrop stand fall over on the baby? Why would anyone trust me to take photos of their baby?

Basically, me, me, me.

I went from overjoyed to overanxious.

Humanity. It fits like a glove.


I arranged to have our niece come over yesterday to stay with Pickle this morning. I got all my props loaded in the truck last night. I charged up my batteries. I got my camera bag packed. I set my alarm. I went to bed.

As the fear and questions were running amok in my head last night, it hit me: "Hey, I should turn this over to God." Yes, I know, I'm brilliant that way.

I lay my anxiety at the foot of the throne and had a great night's sleep.

When I woke up this morning, however, I decided that maybe God was busy and I should just snatch my little package of anxiety back before He could open it.


I was a bundle of nerves driving out to my friend's house this morning, so I flipped the iPod to Kathryn Scott and was listening to the song Thank You For the Cross. I sent J a text telling him I was on my way and to please pray for me.

I sent the text and turned onto the highway that takes me to the freeway. No sooner had I made that right hand turn did I look to the east and see this:

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Why, oh why am I even remotely concerned about my abilities when I know that before the foundation of the world God knew my name, where I would be born, the choices I'd make and most importantly, he knew the plan he had to save me. Me. The sinful girl who often can't see past the end of her own lens.

I love how He cares about the details--that song, that sunrise at that exact moment of self-indulgent, self-centered anxiety all coming together to remind me how minuscule are the things that I often fret over the most.

So, I stopped on that semi-truck laden highway, hit the flasher button, ran to the back of my truck, whipped out my camera and snapped a few photos of those amazing Jesus Clouds.

I think I'll print this one out to give me a bit of perspective when I get overcome with self. I need daily reminders to live for Him with each moment he has graced me with. You?


Now, for a preview.

This is just a taste of what's to come--when I finish editing these, I'll post a link here to my photo site.

Sweet newness . . .

Mother love . . .